THE GREYER SHADES OF US

One of the most difficult questions that I’m asked more often than not is “where are you from? What is your native place?”

And I’m left fidgeting and thinking hard trying to come up with an appropriate answer. I never could quite grasp the necessity of the question. What does it matter from where I am?  Because the moment the other person gains knowledge of your roots his mind sets about judging you and marking you to be a character that you might not be. Oh! His mind goes a bihari- bunch of betel spitting crass egotistics, a Bengali- too opinionated animated and always clinging to their Os and SHs, a delhi-ite- a bunch of show offs with no content of character, a Marwari- shrewd and miser and this goes on for almost everyone and every kind there is in the country. Stereotyping someone is our favourite task and the easiest one too.

As a child I had to travel a lot, in the process also had to change a lot of schools. So I sort of grew all over the place and got exposed to a lot of cultures. I love enjoying all their cuisines and mostly find their languages and attires interesting. Our cultures are vibrant and harmless. Hence I find it difficult why a young north-eastern boy would be killed just because he looked different, or why all African nationals would be targeted for a few who are involved in drug-cartels (a rampant business where lots of Indians are involved too in different parts of our country), or why certain people with different lifestyle choices are ostracized!

Very recently the debate on every newspaper and every news channel and every discussion at cafes and dinner tables at home was: Are we as a nation racist?

But is it even the correct question that we are asking ourselves? It is not so much a question of racism as it is about tolerance. We are growing intolerant by the day, by the hour, by each second that is passing by. As soon as we start feeling insecure, threatened - we start lashing out, being intolerant. That is why Indians today are, instead of moving forward, are seemingly running backwards. That is why we are intolerant of our women, of muslims, of dalits, of people with different appearances, of LGBTs and God knows what. Whatever we do not understand we put in the Hate-list without even making an effort, without even giving a chance (not a second chance but a first one too), without even opening our minds. Stereotyping has to go. Period.

We are a bunch of mediocres (because excellence takes hard work), who are happy taking shortcuts, judging others but not okay with being judged ourselves. We weigh others in the balance of Black and White when we ourselves live in the grey!

LOVE J

Too less YESes and Too many NOs

ADITI

A 5 MINUTE WALK WITH INDIAN-NESS

I was out on the road on my way to the nearest cluster of shops, which can hardly be called a market, to fetch some items listed by my mom and also to increase my metabolism ‘cause c’mon a girl has to do her thing to stay in shape J

When initially I started out I was quite oblivious to my surroundings since my mind was quite pre-occupied trying to make sense of all the things I had to do for the next few hours but this original train of musings were abruptly broken when suddenly I heard a voice say, “yeah exactly that, he is not into me as I am into him!! And honestly after everything I’ve done to keep ‘us’ afloat he has left no stone unturned to kill every last iota of my feelings that I had for him and seriously if you ask me I’m happy that he did so. Good riddance!” As a reflex action to all this my head turned towards the source of this sound and there they were, 3 girls in their early teens huddled around one scooty talking guy-problems! Why couldn’t they discuss novels or movies or something else for that matter? Why does everything have to revolve around a guy for a girl that age, because I seldom see the same for a guy that age!

I kept walking while contemplating this and reached the shop. Having bought everything I was meant to, I paid in denominations of 100. While I waited for my change, I observed a middle-aged man beside me handing a 500 rupee note for a bill that had come to be Rs.482 and leave without even asking for change. The shopkeeper showed no interest in returning my change hence forcing me to ask for it to which he offered two options instead of the money he was meant to.

1.              Let him keep the balance amount and deduct it from my next transaction from his shop (which never will happen ‘cause he’ll claim not to remember anything of the sort at all!)

2.              Take toffees instead of change.

After much haggling and bickering I got my change back and started my way towards home. After everything that had surpassed me, my mind had abandoned all its dark worries and my senses were wide open. Three ladies dressed in sweats and high-end jogging shoes were walking at turtle’s pace gossiping when suddenly one of them took their leave to visit someone at a nearby residence.

Lady1 (in a conspiratorial tone): Arre pta hai wo to uske ghar jate rehti hai, humesha jab dekho wahi rehti hai pta nahi ghar ka kaam kab karti hai.

Lady2 (whispers back): Pta nhi mujhe toh bda bolti hai ke aaj ghar me itna kaam tha utna kaam tha!

Lady1: Bolne ko toh ajkal log kuch bhi bolte hai, pta hai Reena ki beti ka shadi love marriage tha jabki boli sbko arrange marriage hai.

Lady2: Haan Neetu ne bataya tha par ye nhi pta ke use khabar kaha se mili!

Just then a very old man with a walking stick to aid him came into sight on the other side of the road moving in the opposite direction, as he neared me he cleared his throat in the most horrendous manner and Squat! Spat he; red betel remnants making their presence felt right in the middle of the road.

At this juncture I could take no more and had to deliberately walk fast to overtake them. I had almost reached my destination when I was waylaid by my temptation for golgappas (popularly called puchka/panipuri/waterballs). My stomach rumbled just at the sight of them and I decided not to resist the pleasure. I went and greeted the man who I considered had magic in his hands for concocting such delicious golgappas. He was a kind looking polite-spoken, good natured man with a face that always invited an urge to help him somehow. He stood there in his flimsy shirt serving me those tiny concoctions of heaven while I chomped on and made small-talk with him. Just then a few senior citizens approached and asked him to serve them a few plates and that they’d pay him later as they had forgotten to carry their purses with them (funny thing being all of them were empty handed, what a coincidence!) I watched as the man did as he was bid.

With a plate of dahi chat packed for my mom and a plan to subtly surprise her with it, I was climbing the stairs when my neighbour from below bumped into me. She is a retired professor and always seemed to dote on me. We had been introduced with each other when coincidentally both of us had gone out on the road to get drenched during this year’s first rains, on a whim of course. “Why don’t you come to my place beta? I love interacting with young people you know” and the usual dialogues followed “you look so young and pretty for your qualifications and so mature and intelligent, really god bless you”, I never could decide whether she was genuinely praising me or was it a ploy to get me to give her a visit so that she could size me up for match-making reasons. A girl my age just out of college could never be too cautious you know!

So finally disentangling myself from such suspicious pleasantries I eventually reached home. The door opened and I entered smiling widely and dangling the packet of dahi chat in front of her face all the while. Her gaze followed it momentarily but changed track to scrutinize my other hand carrying the stuff she had asked me to get.

Mom (shrieking): where’s the bread?

Me (sounding calm but panicking inside): What bread?

Mom (her voice raising decibels every second): What are you going to have these eggs with for breakfast, my head?

Me (starting to cave): I think…ah ah I forgot (blinking stupidly), but don’t worry I’ll get them now (recuperating from the shock and saving the situation with lightning speed).

And before she could bite my head off, off I went again down the same road to observe new traits of Indian-ness.

LOVE J

Chalta-hai-attitude and woh-uski-problem-hai

ADITI!

THE BEGINNING OF AN END

What do you do when the walls close in on you?

And everyone you know turns their back

When suddenly the world is a different place

And you wake up to find yourself walking alone- a different track?

What do you do when the knowledge suddenly strikes?

That you are an outsider in your own zone

That the plot has run its course

And the familiarity won’t be no more

What do you do when the unexpected happens?

When you want to do so much but the clock’s ticking fast

When people you thought you cared no more of

Start to haunt you and you realize it’s no more in the past

What do you do when you’re lost and clueless?

Drifting in life each day each moment

Left with just the remnants of some legendary times

Left with some memories that’ll make you smile

You know it’s coming, it’ll hit you

But all you can do is brace up for the impact right then

Because it’s inevitable, it’s unstoppable

It’s the beginning of an end.

LOVE

Faith and Endurance

ADITI

WOMANIYA

Ever since I first heard the song ‘Womaniya’ from the infamous and critically-acclaimed movie ‘Gangs of Wasseypur’ I have been entranced by it and I think it will be safe to say that it is not the case with me alone, just the other day I saw this video of 7 Korean girls looking all chic and sexy dancing away to the same number! So yes it has spread to the international stage (who would have imagined a rusty monotone of a song to spread thus) and what’s more is that the word is catching on slowly but surely!

Some of the leading newspapers did an article on it which I did read to quench my curiosity (I’ve always had a thing for the unconventional) but I was easily disappointed, the writer strictly stuck to fashion and how the word is relevant to the industry. “But of course not!! That just could not be all”, I thought to myself and in a whirlwind of thoughts Womaniya was instantly linked to The Modern Multi-faceted Female who has grown ever-more complicated than before and I know I know the guys are thinking “could it get anymore tangled than this?”, but who doesn’t love a good puzzle? I know the ladies do and wouldn’t it be a shameful waste of their mettle if there were no one to give them a run for their money ;)

Ummm yeah!! So coming back to the task of finding the depth of the word that is ‘Womaniya’, she only could be a perfect cocktail of rare talents. A girl who is demure yet dares to follow her dreams, someone who is fanciful yet fearless, she is the one whom the world would now and then label as bizarre but that won’t shake her beliefs. She’s the one to sing out loud while cooking on peachy mornings and follow her heart wherever it takes to. She’s the girl with a book at the cafe round the corner sitting all by herself enjoying her space. She is passionate, headstrong and quirky with a taste for adventure.

She walks bare-feet on wet grass, dances through the night, she has a secret checklist of ‘things-to-do before I die’ and while she’s out there looking so carefree, that’s the only constant thing on the top of her mind. She knows her responsibilities and totally rocks them; she’s a liberal (not a feminist) but always knows where to draw the line. She is easily awed by an odd piece of jewelery at a thrift store or the sight of the season’s first showers. She cries while watching a movie and laughs in between tears of sadness. Crazy, adorable and crafty she knows exactly what she wants but sometimes even she eludes herself. She switches from being hot to cool to sassy when she pleases! And though she has fallen countless times she has always gotten back up and survived, never giving up on Hope. She loves a little romance, maybe even a walk by the beach but her life doesn’t depend on it. She is unchained and unique, never the one to shy away from a challenge. She is content with her fallacies and won’t let anyone tell her otherwise. Perfect in her imperfections, undaunted, uninhibited- she’s a Womaniya.

Two-three years from now when the notion would have caught on everyone would be looking for her but it won’t be that easy because she’s one in a million. With a heart of gold and a character so bold (it’s more than what you all are actually thinking!) not everyone can keep up with her. She isn’t exemplary of anything neither does she tries to, she is just SHE.

RESPECT J

Smoky eyes and cowboy boots!

ADITI 

India’s Lone Ranger

Strictly speaking I was never political, am not still and most probably never will be. But these past few months it has been interesting to watch India’s Lone Ranger emerge out of nowhere and take this country along with its people and politician’s by storm. I mean who could have thought that the age old saying of “jab jab burai sar chadh jati hai tab tab uska vinash krne ek masiha janm leta hai” <kindly excuse my hindi> (Translation: Whenever Evil forces takes over the world a superhero is born to deliver the masses and annihilate all Evil) would find relevance in these ultra-modern times!?! Amusingly enough for all of us- The Audience in all this, the media people and veteran politicians (apparently the self-proclaimed mai baap of rajneeti), find themselves standing on quicksand now, none of these Pro-s know what the Amateur is going to pull out of his pocket next! Hence gripped with this fear of the unknown and taking it for granted that whatever is going to come next is not going to bode well for them, they have busied themselves in trying to get rid of him. While they should be getting ready either :- a) to put their act together, or b) to be ratted out of the system; they are creating their own new secret option c) try to be over-smart and fall face first in the puddle of their corruption! Way to go you dolts!! Though Kejriwal has been compared to a lot of yesteryear’s heroes my personal favorite is Mahatma Gandhi. Where one fought to free this land from foreigners, the other is trying to save it from its own people!! Ha ha! Tough job that one!

Most of the headlines yesterday in the idiot-box screamed “Kejri trying to topple himself!”- That left me incredulous and I went all, “Seriously?? You think he is that much of an idiot?” the person who locked horns with political biggies and defeated them on their home turf is supposed to be that dumb? God Bless the Indian media then and also us who have to bear it!

Agreed he was a Nobody but in these turbulent times where there’s one party with its ‘Badi Malkin’ cracking whips as and when she pleases, leaving the country shattered (both literally and figuratively) and another with its Hindu fundamentalism  (hey I’m not judging but would it work in a country so diverse with Sikhs, Muslims, Jews, Parsis, Christians and God knows what else!? Think!) it is a Nobody that we need. He has become India’s most famous Rat-repellent mostly because it’s effective and full of surprises. And God knows we needed both to spice up our otherwise dull lives!!

LOVE J

Stimulated Brain Cells and funny bones ;)

ADITI!

A valentine's for all of us!

So I was watching T.V. and 'The Middle' was on. For those of you who don't know-it's a series with  a bunch of weird characters whom if you come across while playing with the remote just to pass time, will probably keep skip channels without a second thought; but since I had taken a pledge (not so long ago) to give every-thing/one a chance before jumping into conclusions, decided to stick around for the first 10 minutes and Voila!!! A really sweet, light, funny entertainer was discovered (of course by me! duh!).

The episode today centered around the lately-much talked-about Valentine's Day. While the husband and wife in the episode grappled with 'How to celebrate the day this year', their 9 year old son grappled with how to come up with enough credible matter for his paper due next week and he had to get an A but the catch was the topic "The importance of Valentine's Day". Wasn't that a bit too heavy on a 9 year old? 

By the time the episode neared it's end my mind was spinning! Food for Thought: What indeed is the importance of this D-day that many keep waiting for while other curse at it's arrival!? There are so many opinions and judgments revolving around the way it is celebrated. Some buy expensive gifts and feel their work is done while some suffice with just a rose; then there are some who make elaborate projects out of making cards or handcrafting presents for their loved ones yet there are also some who meticulously go about planning an entire day (getting presents, flowers, champagne, movie tickets, dinner reservations so on and so forth), arguably a perfect day and the rest some just end up doing nothing.

When the little voice in their head tells them, "Don't you think you should do something?", they go "Naaaah ... my partner's awesome he/she already know how much I love him/her!! We don't need showy rituals!?!"

WHAAAAT SERIOUSLY???????? 

So now the question is in which category of these "Some" do you fall in?

Of course there's love 24x7, 365 days a year even when we are grumbling or fighting but isn't it worthwhile to be excited about this one day to celebrate your bittersweet love?

No one feels special every single day so would it really hurt to take the effort to make someone feel special for at least a day? So what's so difficult about spreading some happiness and being happy in the process? It is never about the money but about little gestures, which do happen unexpectedly now and then but we are just a bunch of lazies and busies to notice even if it stared us right in the face. We pass them by without so much as a 'Thank You'

So yes a Valentine's Day is necessary 'cause that's the only time of the year we our eyes (and minds) are open to what might happen 'cause we are wired that way. Wired to remember a few days that we expect to be memorable and valentine's is one of those few apart from our birthday. It's not necessarily about romance, it's a father's day mother's day friendship day all rolled into one. It's about a letter or a card, about togetherness and a walk-down-memory lane.

We always bring our best to people who don't even last in our lives even a month 'cause we are touchy about our "image", but how about bringing our best to people who really matter?! We are never going to say "that particular Thursday in September was a great surprise. Thanks!" <smiles> But we always say "Last year's Valentine's s*cked. Nothing happened"

So make it happen. If not for others then for yourselves. Like the closing line from that 9 year old's paper rightly said "Great stories are not made of great stuff, they are made of little gestures!"

Spread the Love

Rainbows and Cookies

Have a Happy Valentine's

ADITI :)