Curtains

I smell her in my cupboard
she's left her personality
in my room
the walls are her color
the curtains are heavy
just like she wanted.
Despite everything
she 's left.
she's left undaunted.

I play it over and over
in my head, oftentimes.
how could she?
and her note says
"so dependent! I cannot be"

Has it ever happened to you too? That you gave so much of yourself to someone and still fell short?
Maybe he/she was always a flight risk and you knew that, only never accepted. You thought you could make him /her stay but now that you draw the curtains, all this irony stare you in the face.

What do you think? Share your stories, I want to know.

.:ayda:.

TO BE OR NOT TO BE

"It's hard to be taken seriously when you don't have connections. And unfortunately, when you don't have connections, it seems like the only people you can connect with are other people who don't have connections.” said a random man in New York. He seemed normal and good looking and I bet even handsome if he smiled.

There is a very inspiring page in Facebook- the social networking giant called “The Humans of New York” which today I explored on the recommendation of a good friend of mine. I was glued to the testimonials of the various ordinary people and how they fought losses, tragedy, abuse, fear, pressure, confusion and the various other vices of the societies of this world with love, tongue-in-cheek humour, beyond-the-years smartness and most of all smiles and courage. They were remarkable in more ways than one.

I mean I have some pretty dark corners in my life too and I am sure we all have. We live in an age where we live dual lives even before knowing that we do. There’s one life where we are pristine characters with respect to everything, where we bow and smile and greet and are the so-called good kids of our parents. And there is the other that contains all the complicated gross stuff that we won’t even dare to discuss with anyone.

It is quite an unforgiving world that we live in, where the lights are blinding outside but inside the blackness is sickening. “Nobody cares”, we often complain but forget to ask ourselves “Do we?” Everyone is juggling trying to really live instead of just blatantly existing (as those who believe in “live, don’t just survive” are supposed to be cool!) with keep oneself from drowning in his own sea of demons.

Sure, a lot of things around us are impersonal but boundaries don’t divide us. Much like the people of New York, there are tons of inspiring people here in India too and all over the world. We are united in our difficulties, sadness, courage, and quest for survival, journey to fulfil our dreams and want to leave a mark. It’s a fine line between despair and hope and though self-pity is an easy way out and we often see the negativities around us and people plagued by it, that’s only half the truth. A good number dwell on the other side too and that’s heartening to see.

It’s the journey that matters not the results! We spend too much time on just one question “to be or not to be?” and lose out on so many thing. Time slips by and we forget to be happy, crazy, inspired and a million other things just worrying about millions of other stupid things.

LOVE J

We never lose to love, we lose by holding back.

ADITI

Alive

See how the city lights dance

Full of promises of opportunities and chance

People moving fast

Cars zooming past

We are alive

Full of hope and life

Armed with a thousand dreams

Brushing off dust of what-could-have-beens

Crisp shirts and ironed ties

We are making our way through to the dais

We are alive

Full of struggle and strife

From the streets to fine living

Assisted by humble high thinking

No magic mantra, no shortcuts

We learn to crawl, walk and then run

We are alive

And doing just fine

Fighting our own battles

Not shying away from the hassles

Surviving wounds and many stitches

On our way from rags to riches

We are more than alive

And proud of our kind

We have fallen and gotten back up

Unflinching and unwavering on the path

Wills of steel and titanium resolve

Life has come full circle

We are alive

Children of the night

Sweaty days and sleepless years

Open eyes blinking away fear

Little joys that light the way

Actions that are louder than the words we say

We are alive

Bidding our time

Pushed, pulled stretched and burned

Stoked with hardships and purged

Redemption is served, good and neat

The fruits of patience and toil are sweet

We are alive

Nurtured on cold ice

The spotlights sing

Dark days on the retreat

The centre-stage is claimed

Finally the name shines on silver, engraved

Yes we are alive

Polished and shined

Praises sung in our honour

Peace prevail in our corner

Reminiscing in silent recluse

Of a journey painted in beautiful hues

Never still, never quiet

Never passive, never trite

Filled with joy and with light

We are souls ever alive

Of characters in the Idiot Box

Very recently the popular TV series of the West but I daresay more so of the East (seeing its fan following in the country) How I Met Your Mother came to an end. Ouch it hurts! It sounded like the sad demise of a beloved pet. Yes it hurt that much. Amid tears of joy and sorrow it took me a while to take in the fact that there will be no more new Canada jokes or have-you-met-ted games and totally off the rocker bonk-a-doodle from Barney.

Oh well what can I say? I see everyone around me and see how people have invited these characters into their homes, let them make space in their hearts. They have cried when Ted was turned down by Robin or when Ross and Rachel broke up. We live in an age where these characters are more loved, adored and cared for by us than we do our family and friends. Oh speaking of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. boy was it an international phenomena? It went on for ten whole years and one day BAM! Season Finale is knocking at your door. That’s the day you realise how much of a part it was of your lives.

Back when I was 10 I used to read this column in the supplement of a popular newspaper where celebrities were interviewed. Every single one of them was glued to F.R.I.E.N.D.S. choosing it as their favourite TV series. I couldn’t understand what the fuss was all about but now I know why. It’s because you cannot help but fall in love with Phoebe even when she is barking mad and Rachel even though she is obnoxious and materialistic and Joey for being unbelievably dumb and Monica for being so controlling and sometimes Chandler goes so far out of the limit that you wanna say “Dude take a break!” but you don’t. ‘Cause the fact of the matter is in real life these kinds of people would probably be hated and bullied! But for a decade and even now they help us recuperate from a bad fever or heartbreak or simply a bad day when nothing’s working to lift our mood and we are wrapped up cosily in a blanket sipping on hot chocolate or cocoa (if you are anything like Sheldon) and staring at the idiot box or the screen of our laptop and laughing along with them innocently forgetting our pains.

These characters are people we’d like to have in our lives but don’t or they are probably there but we don’t realise. We all have a Marshal and Lily (the perfect couple) in our friends circle, or a Joey or Barney. Over the years they have just helped us realise the happiness that comes from having similar people in our lives, from sharing a joke to a whole wardrobe or apartment. They have taught us to embrace all kinds of people and be tolerant and that faith finally comes through, that destiny is a real thing and that eventually life moves on but the epic memories makes the whole thing worthwhile.

LOVE J

Bows and Applause to them.

ADITI