Clouds

He hovered over me like a cloud

And I was always in its shadows

It was the worst kind of love

If there is a worst kind

I was besotted

How could I have not known

In the end I lay in a heap

Crumpled and left behind

I was happy nonetheless

Finally my days were cloudless

Note: I understood the importance of all the good things in the present because of all the clouds in my past.

.:ayda:.

Because

Keep walking
'Cause the road does not end here
Accept the truth
'Cause nobody ever won with their hearts full of fear
Let go
'Cause bygones are bygones
 Live just the way
You'd like to tell your grandsons.

Have courage
'Cause fortune favors the brave
Believe
'Cause you are not supposed to conquer every path you tread
Keep heart
'Cause tomorrow will be a different story
Be yourself
And prepare to unleash your glory


Often we cease to have faith in our power. Often we lose sight of the light that is within as other things blind us. Believe just because...

.:ayda:.

Co-dependence

She made a
Man
Out of him
By day
And he made a
Woman
Out of her
By night.



We make each other. All of us are a lot of people's efforts and effects besides ours, of course. Almost like the exemplary constructive codependence between the Sun and the Moon.

.:ayda:.

Free

My strings are in his hands
His are in his mother's hands
Hers are in his Dad's hands
Whose are in his Dads hands
And in the end it is a massive
puppet show!

Let others be
Break free.


Freedom is a very very misused term. All of us are controlled by something or the other.
Some are bound by love, some by duties, some by family, some by work or responsibilities, while the rest are haunted by their past or caught up with plans of the future. Let go. Break free.

.:ayda:.

Just Another Star

I was just another
star in his galaxy
of constellations,
with not enough shine
to hold him in place.
But I shone anyway.


You just gotta keep doing your shit. Keep shining, no matter what.

.:ayda:.

Fond

it wasn't perfect
it was a broken mess
a rubble of jealous fires
and stolen glances
angry kisses and
endless chances

I was quite fond of him.

Still am.



It wasn't great, but it was!

.:ayda:.

Oldschool

He pulled chairs
And opened doors
For me
Brought flowers
Wrote letters
On a whim
I wondered
What's wrong?
What's the agenda?

I was but
A fool
He was plain
Oldschool


In today's time, we find chivalry rare. If a guy came up to you and did the right thing for the first time in your life, you would cringe, doubt and wonder what's wrong? Yes it is that rare, to the point of shock...

But they are still out there made up of love, truth, honesty, warmth and chivalry. These are the keepers. My heart lies with an oldschool guy, does yours too?

.:ayda:.

Curtains

I smell her in my cupboard
she's left her personality
in my room
the walls are her color
the curtains are heavy
just like she wanted.
Despite everything
she 's left.
she's left undaunted.

I play it over and over
in my head, oftentimes.
how could she?
and her note says
"so dependent! I cannot be"

Has it ever happened to you too? That you gave so much of yourself to someone and still fell short?
Maybe he/she was always a flight risk and you knew that, only never accepted. You thought you could make him /her stay but now that you draw the curtains, all this irony stare you in the face.

What do you think? Share your stories, I want to know.

.:ayda:.

Faces

if people saw
as much
beauty
in words
as they did
in faces

the world
would be a
beautiful book
of poems and
we its pages



Most of the times I wonder what causes people to see the beauty in other's faces and not their words. That hideous doctored profile pictures should receive more validation than honest comprehensible sentences is quite out of my fathomable imagination. Is the world any less a poem? No, but it sure does fail to elicit the appreciation it deserves.

.:ayda:.

Wayward

I adore the fact
that he likes
his wine with fritters
and not cheese

because I don't like
my whiskey with peanuts
I like it with fish


Let's drink to being wayward. How many of you don't live by the norm?
Note: Musings of an idle mind

.:ayda:.

Mirrors

Funny how people
imprint
on other people

Maybe one soul
does live nine lives

I still see her each day
he has his mother's hazel eyes
and my wife's crooked smile.


We see so much of someone in someone else. Maybe nobody dies after all. Aren't we mirrors reflecting so much more than just what we are?

Fireworks

Sunny dresses
And bare toes
On the grass
Colored lips
Sipping coronas
Heady conversations
With green eyes
Under a clear sky
Time flies...

The day rolls
Into the night
In silence
And in laughter
With the touch of a finger
A tinge of blush
All the things I love
And fireworks.


Ever felt like a firework about to go off when you met someone that filled you with happiness? Yeah! that's exactly what I am talkin' about. Good day people! I hope you all have a day full of everything you love.

.:ayda:.

Two

Lets be silent and solitary
Together
Let's embark on a solo trip
Of self-discovery
With two tickets
Let's go for a run
In two pairs of shoes
Let no one know my flaws
Except you

Does it seem odd to you too?
Do you not feel a strange anomaly?
That my entire being refuses
To live  without your company?

.:ayda:.

Awesomeness!

It was going to be graduation time round the bend. Many of us were going to get an ominous looking fancy piece of paper soon. If your college is awesome it will say “Level up: Life Skill AWESOME acquired.” 

But for most of us it will just say our name and some words and a two digit summary of our  worth in the past 4 years staring us shamelessly on the face.

When I was an undergrad I remember looking forward to graduation so much. I thought to myself on a regular basis, “Just get through this. When it’s all done you’ll be able to make money and start your life.” By the time that day actually came, I was so underwhelmed with the whole "college experience" that I stopped regretting why we don't have a convocation 'cause most probably I wouldn’t have even bothered to

show up.

At least real life had started. And I was off to the races… not really. In the last six years I’ve met people who are in their late teens who I consider peers and equals; people who organize groups, throw giant successful events and still have time to kick college’s ass; people who make these crazy life altering decisions and go through so much for the sake of upholding a benevolent idea. I’ve learned a little bit from every single one of you. And I need you to know something else: You’ve changed my life. 

Just watching you do what you do has given me so much excitement about the world. You taught me the value of college outside of class when we were hanging out in the canteen, dancing, fighting over choreography, calling dibs over better rooms and bigger chunks of chicken, when we were royally ignoring people (or each other :p), or making up over a pan (yeah not bowl ;)) of hot or cold maggi, watching movies in the theatre or singing together. You taught when we were sharing a million stuff knowingly or unknowingly, when you were silent or grumbling or shouting or just texting "dinner?", "Canteen. step up 4 trailer. Awesome" "dup?" "chotto meye" (lil girl, in bengali) and so on and so forth.

Each one of us has some shortcomings and some redeeming qualities about us while some are kind or creative or funny or headstrong or whatever (the list of adjectives goes on and on..), some among these multitudes are good at BEING AWESOME.

What is BEING AWESOME, you ask? Well, there no 1

way to answer that but you can always try reading on:

And so I give you the 7 commandments of Being Awesome:

1. Be a dork. (or in another way Embrace who you are.)

A person who confidently accepts that he/she likes to read is always cooler than a person who wears a gothic Tee and gets hammered for the sake of trying to look cool.

2. Say YES to new things.

They take challenges head on.

3. Don’t take criticism personally.

They don't crib or whine about it on Facebook or twitter (in short the social media). They Listen. Process. Learn. Improve. Thank. <like I'm doing now  :p lol>

4. Embrace failure.

For every 1 good idea there are 10 bad ones to pull it back but these people say "F*ck the haters" and go on.

5. Persevere

They never give up without a fight. And they are amaaaaazing fighters (better than the spartans!)

6. Give everyone a chance.

I noticed something interesting about the people I consider to be excellent — they hang out with everyone. They have the oddest friends and they love them all. This gives them access to all sorts of strange worlds and social circles. Best friends come from strange and unexpected places so try not to judge anyone before you get to know them. This has a cool side effect too — when you try to see the positives in other people instead of judging them harshly, the voice that thinks other people are judging YOU harshly tends to shut up.

7. Life starts today.

Above all else, they realize that they’re already the person they hope to become more or less. They stopped waiting ages ago. Waiting for some day to come when someone else gives you a permission slip to live or validate your existence is a sure-fire one-way ticket to S*cksville.

This stuff is easy. Being awesome doesn’t depend on your parents, or the amount of money you have, or what you’re good at. All you need to do is make the decision to behave in a manner that is more awesome. Saying yes is only a little different than saying no.If you can figure out how to stop listening to the voice in your head that is afraid of the unknown and instead say, “F*ck it, from now I’m gonna be awesome,” then you’ll be on your way to kicking ass in no time.

I can actually guarantee that.

So yeah you guys Thanks!

#LiveItUp \m/

Exam Magic!

Remember the time when you were in college, and exam time used to be the most fun with your dorm/hostel roommates? The palpable pressure of unfinished syllabus and the mounting tension of next day's impending fate at the Test, all combined to make you crack the stupidest of jokes over Maggi with study friends when you were taking that much-needed "break" from those tedious hours of study!

Well I always used to have these weird urges to write poetry, or watch a movie or paint (anything creative) during those ominous hours. My mind used to be bombarded with inspiration and artistic ideas that would inevitably will me into abandoning  my books for a different pursuit. Well, the little voice in my head would reason out, "Just 5 minutes off won't hurt, would it? I just need to pen the thought" And once the penning starts, it goes on and on. It is like apocalypse is at your doorstep and you are still watching TV!! 

It was during those times that I became surer of my interests and what I would like to have as a career. The way exam times showed me the way was unbelievable.. in fact quite magical. I still can't shake off those moments or the feeling of being torn between what I was doing and what I wanted to do.

Following are 4 lines I had scribbled on the question paper during an exam that describes how words played with me.

The pages were endless
And I flipped them like clockwork
Words they say are ceaselessly seamless
But no one told they did midnight wonders!

For the love of......

For some very weird reason I have always had a knack of getting attracted towards old faded stuff. I cannot help myself but get drawn towards faded, old battered clothes, yellowed books, rusted jewellery, old men (George Clooney – Sexy!!) or anything else for that matter. I love the rustiness of it all and the urge to rescue them overpowers me. Each of them has a story. The slick lines on their body, the washed colours, and the broken edges, torn like scars on a soldier. So yeah that’s me probably being weird for the rest of the world but well, I hardly care!

On a recent shopping spree, I invariably got engaged in an endless haggling match with a second-hand book vendor. Unfortunately since I do not have a continuous stream of money flowing into my pocket and the vendor refused to budge from his quoted number, the effort went in futile. This left me in a rather sad and grumpy mood, to which effect my friend innocently asked, “Why do you need to go to desperate lengths to get a few torn dilapidated books?”

I looked at him, aghast and delved into a rather long and breathless speech; that for him must have been French.

“..Because those very torn, old books have something to say! Secrets to be unravelled! There’s a certain mystique about them and combined with the intoxicating aroma of those aged pages, they are a masterpiece. I do not simply buy them, it’s a rescue act! They are rehabilitated from dark, dingy, make-shift roadside shelves to the warm, cosy insides of polished teakwood cabinet, away from the prying hands of ignorant sellers, rough stinky fingers replaced by adoring, careful ones leafing through delicate pages. The feeling of abandonment replaced by the happiness of being loved and finally finding camaraderie amongst the neighbouring fiction or the-next-shelf romance novel. For me books are living breathing entities with souls of their own!!”

So that was more than enough to shut him up! Yes, I do agree that it would need a hell lot of imagination to believe in all of it but frankly I think we should have a Book Revolution, one that is aimed at garnering respect for books and understanding their worth.

Ode to my books:

Pretty books sitting quiet and prim

Neatly stacked piles of adventures, all for keeps

What they stand for is what most miss

But they’ll still be my dearest lovelies!!

LOVE J

Nerd glasses & Cute bookmarks

ADITI

The concept of I

So yes I am a postgrad student now. “Learnings”, “appreciate the process/theory/application”, “Optimisation” are a few terms/jargons/phrases out of an odd fifty that surface in every conversation at class, mess tables, normal chit chats, presentations, assignment write-ups etc. (I am sure you got the gist!) more often than not.

But what remains to be asked is, do we really understand these phrases? Aren’t we using the word “learnings” to cover up for things we haven’t learnt? Are we really appreciating the process/theory/application or are we just sitting like zombies in class looking vacantly at the screen and nodding? Have we “optimised” the resources at our disposal? Let’s see!!

So a few days back a friend said “why are we always taking examples of all the successful stories? Why aren’t we talking more of failures ‘cause those are the things we shouldn’t do? This got me thinking, food for thought: One guy out of a population of 700 (including staff and every living soul on campus) thought of this. Pretty astonishing! "Are we, even worse - our thoughts, caged by social stigma?

I thought about this at length and finally after several days of brain picking I stopped at “I”. It’s a single unsuspecting letter but very potent. With due respect to the ‘You-approach’, I say this: “Why are we learning the you-approach in the first place when people don’t even know how to do the I-approach justice?

The I-approach holds the power to bring out the best in everyone if done correctly (and here I am talking about a balance not extremities like narcissism and self-obsession). As it is nobody follows the you-approach nowadays, it’s only a theory, so the curriculum might as well teach students where to strike a balance with the I-approach.

Although we are taught to quit the I-approach. It is only I that would understand myself best, love me irrevocably, see my flaws, pride in my intensities, embrace my drawbacks, adore my goof-ups and learn from them, revel at my glories, wonder at my growth and worship my inner-being to the last cell. No one else would selflessly do the same for me because everything else is temporary! I could be my own source of joy… and it is very positive. It is only when I know myself best, can I be the best for others.

So no, we are not optimizing. Why you ask? Simply because we are not so much as challenging the theories as gulping whatever is offered. We are not applying reverse psychology to these theories, we are not asking why!! We are simply covering things we haven’t learnt with unsuspecting words like “learnings”

LoveJ

Cheers to finding ourselves

ADITI

The myth about pretty people

I am starting to feel that May is a rather long month! Although I have been caught up with so many of my other passions yet time does not seem to fly by and hence I feel obligated to write another piece on this space because I’m trying to avoid too many dry spells here!

I did not have the slightest clue as to what I should write about. “What do I feel strongly for?” I asked myself and the answers were many “women’s rights, gender discrimination, corruption, jugad, female foeticide, the ironies of life, consensual sex, the Third gender, education, freedom of speech, practising any religion etc. etc.” however I chose this topic today to talk about because I wanted to share how I feel when most of my peers and colleagues have this notion in their mind that pretty people have it all perfectly in place just because of the way they look.

Right from the very start, from the time my memory empowers me, I remember to have been blessed (or should I say otherwise) to be perceived as beautiful.

Now before I can embark upon my premises leading to the conclusion, I want to clear out that this piece is not directed at drowning pretty people in self-pity. As for me, I do not have any qualms about the way I look or am treated but this is just a humble effort to break the myths that associate beautiful people. I will enlist the myths as follows:

v  Beauty is power redefined:

  Well I do not think so. Opinions may differ. But belonging to a society where everything rests upon your looks and people judge you based on your external appearances can only spell disaster especially for females. Your worth is weighed by the complexion of your skin, length and texture of your hair, presence of dimples and other ridiculous things. No woman, beautiful or otherwise can win in this subject. This cripples intellect. Sometimes you do get the perks of having a pretty face but not always.

v  Beautiful people have it easy: 

 In this age of cut-throat competition, how can any sane person think that being pretty will get you everything easily. I remember most of my friends claiming “Oh don’t you worry you will get a job, one look at your face and the interviewer will hire you” well NEWSFLASH!!!! The very perception is demeaning!

v  Pretty people are so popular: 

  For those of you who do not know, popularity comes at a cost. Beauty often has to survive the backlash of haters. My bet is that almost everybody harvests a secret hate for any popular person in the nearest vicinity. While it may seem that popularity breeds friendships but mostly it breeds jealousy and contempt. Now who would want to be on the receiving end of those? Sometimes in reality beautiful people are the loneliest of all. Think about that if you can.

v  Beauty puts you constantly under the microscope: 

  Thusly you cannot pick your nose or have a bad hair day or sneeze in public or put on a few Kgs. Simply put you cannot be yourself in any way for fear of being caught and then interrogated and embarrassed about it. What the hell I say!

v  Pretty people have it rough too:

   A friend of mine said “I used to be one of those kids whom nobody would pick on their team because they thought I was ugly”, I said, “Well that makes two of us” to which she contorted her face and blurted “but you are so beautiful!” exasperated I say “simply because I am not athletic and I always made my team lose. I was a liability”. My point in sharing this is to show how this stupid myth about beauty blocks people’s common perspectives.

v  Beauty is equal to dumb:

  This is the worst of all. People judging the content of your intellect by the colour of your skin. Does that make sense at all? We often dismiss the opinions of beautiful people on the basis that he/she must spend all their time in self-grooming, what would they know about the world economy, politics or history!?!

v  Beauty begets love or at least a good marriage:

 Oh really? I feel ridiculous when mothers say “Thank god my girl is beautiful otherwise I would have paid through the nose (dowry) to get her a good “well-matched” boy!” wtf! Seriously? <Also taking beauty and fairness cream ads into the context> I know lots of beautiful women and even you can think of tons of famous personalities who went through messy divorces and break-ups. Those facts alone are enough to break this myth that beauty gets you love or marriage.

I would not delve more into the realms of the stereotyping that beautiful people suffer from. Taylor Swift’s beautiful composition “The lucky one” perfectly sums up the consequences of beauty. Somehow and sadly if I may, it reminds me of Marilyn Monroe in more ways than one. "Everybody loves pretty... everybody loves cool!!"

These misconceptions about beauty have put barriers between people. They need to be pulled down, for us to really connect.

"Sometimes people are beautiful

Not in looks

Not in what they say.

Just in what they are" - Markus Zusak

LOVE :)

To no more judging. Cheers!

ADITI

TO BE OR NOT TO BE

"It's hard to be taken seriously when you don't have connections. And unfortunately, when you don't have connections, it seems like the only people you can connect with are other people who don't have connections.” said a random man in New York. He seemed normal and good looking and I bet even handsome if he smiled.

There is a very inspiring page in Facebook- the social networking giant called “The Humans of New York” which today I explored on the recommendation of a good friend of mine. I was glued to the testimonials of the various ordinary people and how they fought losses, tragedy, abuse, fear, pressure, confusion and the various other vices of the societies of this world with love, tongue-in-cheek humour, beyond-the-years smartness and most of all smiles and courage. They were remarkable in more ways than one.

I mean I have some pretty dark corners in my life too and I am sure we all have. We live in an age where we live dual lives even before knowing that we do. There’s one life where we are pristine characters with respect to everything, where we bow and smile and greet and are the so-called good kids of our parents. And there is the other that contains all the complicated gross stuff that we won’t even dare to discuss with anyone.

It is quite an unforgiving world that we live in, where the lights are blinding outside but inside the blackness is sickening. “Nobody cares”, we often complain but forget to ask ourselves “Do we?” Everyone is juggling trying to really live instead of just blatantly existing (as those who believe in “live, don’t just survive” are supposed to be cool!) with keep oneself from drowning in his own sea of demons.

Sure, a lot of things around us are impersonal but boundaries don’t divide us. Much like the people of New York, there are tons of inspiring people here in India too and all over the world. We are united in our difficulties, sadness, courage, and quest for survival, journey to fulfil our dreams and want to leave a mark. It’s a fine line between despair and hope and though self-pity is an easy way out and we often see the negativities around us and people plagued by it, that’s only half the truth. A good number dwell on the other side too and that’s heartening to see.

It’s the journey that matters not the results! We spend too much time on just one question “to be or not to be?” and lose out on so many thing. Time slips by and we forget to be happy, crazy, inspired and a million other things just worrying about millions of other stupid things.

LOVE J

We never lose to love, we lose by holding back.

ADITI

Alive

See how the city lights dance

Full of promises of opportunities and chance

People moving fast

Cars zooming past

We are alive

Full of hope and life

Armed with a thousand dreams

Brushing off dust of what-could-have-beens

Crisp shirts and ironed ties

We are making our way through to the dais

We are alive

Full of struggle and strife

From the streets to fine living

Assisted by humble high thinking

No magic mantra, no shortcuts

We learn to crawl, walk and then run

We are alive

And doing just fine

Fighting our own battles

Not shying away from the hassles

Surviving wounds and many stitches

On our way from rags to riches

We are more than alive

And proud of our kind

We have fallen and gotten back up

Unflinching and unwavering on the path

Wills of steel and titanium resolve

Life has come full circle

We are alive

Children of the night

Sweaty days and sleepless years

Open eyes blinking away fear

Little joys that light the way

Actions that are louder than the words we say

We are alive

Bidding our time

Pushed, pulled stretched and burned

Stoked with hardships and purged

Redemption is served, good and neat

The fruits of patience and toil are sweet

We are alive

Nurtured on cold ice

The spotlights sing

Dark days on the retreat

The centre-stage is claimed

Finally the name shines on silver, engraved

Yes we are alive

Polished and shined

Praises sung in our honour

Peace prevail in our corner

Reminiscing in silent recluse

Of a journey painted in beautiful hues

Never still, never quiet

Never passive, never trite

Filled with joy and with light

We are souls ever alive